Uneasiness

Marlow conveys an uneasiness all along the novel that even himself endures along others. His attitude towards Kurtz is not clear. Whether he is for or against him has been ambiguous even for him. The desire to meet Kurtz draws him away from his duties and furthermore, readers are drawn away from sense too. Inexplicably we are eager to meet Kurtz, maybe because some times people want guidance like Kurtz's: unconditional. 

Marlow has been secluded from the rest of his crew by the charisma of someone he does not even know. He sympathizes with this persona and seeks to meet him, but why? After being attacked by "savages" Marlow lingers on the thought that their search for Kurtz is futile because he is probably dead, and mourns for not being able to meet him. Marlow saw his possible loss and said, "I couldn't have felt more of lonely desolation somehow, had I been robbed of a belief or had missed my destiny in life…." (page 87). He felt abandoned, yet he has not met Kurtz. Marlow was holding on to something beyond materials and beliefs: Kurtz gave Marlow his legacy so he could hold on to it during his trip. Marlow was sent to stop Kurtz, nearly a savage, from his misdeeds and ended up admiring him. Marlow had traveled to the ends of earth and certainly wanted more of that presence. People attach to whatever or whoever gives them guidance, but Marlow is drawn over the edge inexplicably. I have beliefs and attachments that are part of my everyday life, but following someone (possibly dead) through the Congo river and admiring them seems irrational. 

Until now Kurtz has provided nothing, but suffering to Marlow. His voyage seems useless, but I believe it is not so. Kurtz's accomplishments seem admirable and like me, Marlow wants to understand what is it in this savage that has gained him idolization. In my irrationality, Marlow's uneasiness justifies because I feel equally ambiguous towards Kurtz. Knowing very little of this man, I think he accomplished what no one had before therefore he is worthy of my understanding. Kurtz beat colonization from both colonizer and colonized perspectives, making a whole new society. He created something quite similar to a theocracy with him as a leader. Kurtz is unconditional and he successfully won the "savages" support with his charisma, giving them something to hold on.